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Tired, so tired

Tired, so tired - Willi Johnson

After spending more than half of day on the road, driving back home, I had no more energy left to pass by my mother’s house and listen to all of her drama. I do not wish to sound as an insensitive or ungrateful son, but I simply could not do it. 

The last time I passed by she asked me to buy a winter curtains Longueuil. Obviously I forgot all about her request until last week when she called and complained that I do not care about her. Each time she starts her self-pity act, I know that there is no way to deal with her. Thus, I let her talk without listening or interrupting her. Once in a way I would say yes or nod my head humming something, just to confirm it to her that I am still part of the conversation, which turned into a monologue the moment I entered her house.

When my dad used to be alive, things were different. She was more easy to deal with. Probably because my dad kept her occupied and he knew how to handle her. Unfortunately I don’t have his skills or patience. I do love her but lately it has been quite difficult to be around her. I would like to help her, but I do not know how. 

Whenever I would try to tell her something, or disagree, our conversation would turn into a huge fight, where she would play the victim’s role. It happened so many times that I don’t want to put myself in that situation anymore. It drains all my energy and ruins my mood for the entire day.

Tomorrow I will have to go see her and take her out shopping. I will have to keep my mouth shut the entire time, otherwise we will start arguing over some nonsense and she would not speak with me for a month or more. 

My wife suggested to take a Valium or something similar to keep me calm. That’s probably because she saw how affected I was by our last  “session”. That day mother drove me nuts. When I got home I was a pack of nerves and I snapped at my wife for no reason. Mom got me so mad that I was not able to go see her for a whole month. Whenever she called, I passed the phone to my wife because I did not wished to talk to her.


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