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Under a black cloud

Under a black cloud - Willi Johnson

Another phone call, another bad news. Lately, I have been getting so many disturbing news that I am considering unplugging the phone for good. But that would be pointless, as bad news travel fast. They would manage to find their way to me by another mean of communication.

I started 2017 on the wrong foot. On January 1st, my father in law passed away. A month later, my son has been involved in a bad car accident. In March, my wife got sick and doctors are not too happy about the way her illness is progression. Last month, I noted that there was water coming through the ceiling on one of the upstairs bedrooms - which means I need to change the roof this summer.

This morning my work colleague came to tell me that we was leaving the company and that it was his last day of work there. He did not offer more details and I left it like that. I had other things on my mind. If he did not feel comfortable enough to explain or tell me earlier he was leaving, why should I bother to  inquire him? It wasn’t worth my time.

When I wake up each morning, I am thanking God for allowing me to see my wife another day. I pray that he keeps her sickness in check and he would not take her away from me too soon. I am not ready to let her go. I love her too much to lose her. I would be completely lost without her.

Lately I had this feeling that I am living under a black cloud. It started with my dad’s passing. Ever since I am constantly worrying that something bad would happen. I have never been this way. It’s something new, that I have no control over it. I am doing my best on keeping a straight face and not showing my fears to anyone, especially my wife. I am afraid that would demoralize her. I need to be strong for her. 

Whenever she asks me for something, I do it right away. She noticed I’ve changed. We both changed. Yesterday she mentioned we had to change the awnings. In the evening I went and ordered some Sail awnings for balcony Longueuil. I will have them ready and installed by Monday evening.

I am decided not to waste any single minute I have left with her. I want to make her happy.


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